


covet dreams

by denimandflowers



Series: shades of right [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, M/M, Mentions of Abortion, Mentions of Infertility, Mentions of miscarriage, Mpreg, Omega Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, tags will be added as it progresses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:34:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29106426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denimandflowers/pseuds/denimandflowers
Summary: Two years after the tragedy, Doyoung is ready to face his demons. Things are better now. Different. With Jaehyun by his side, Doyoung is willing to give it another try.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Taeyong/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Series: shades of right [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2135733
Comments: 13
Kudos: 128





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I'm back! I've just started a new job and it's been stressful af and I never thought I'd write again, but i managed to squeeze in some writing on the weekend so here we are! I've always wanted a sequel for heart of doubt bc I felt like dojae in that story needed a happier ending. But we all know that im all for angst so don't expect any less than that for the sequel. There might, however, be a happy ending in this chaptered fic but no promises! 
> 
> You don't have to read heart of doubt before this sequel, but certain things would definitely make more sense if you do.
> 
> Also, updates will be irregular depending on my free time on the weekends but I'll try my best. The chapters will be rather short at ~2k each but I'll try not to write any filler chapters :)
> 
> Lastly, thanks to everyone who supported the previous work and made this sequel possible. Comments are always welcomed (including any suggestions as to how you'd like to see the plot progress). Enjoy!

Despite what everyone believes, Doyoung can most definitely keep a secret.

He’s been doing so for the past month, which is already a feat in itself, because the last time he’d tried to keep a secret, he’d ended up spoiling Jaehyun’s birthday surprise in three days.

This secret, however, isn’t more important than his mate’s birthday, but it is definitely much bigger and something that could possibly change their lives forever.

As Doyoung leaves the building, he clutches the bag of pills close to his chest. He’s equal parts excited and nervous, and also a tad bit worried about how Jaehyun might react once the cat is finally out of the bag.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he retrieves it to see that Jaehyun is calling him. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he swipes to answer the call.

_"Babe, where did you go?”_

Doyoung tightens his hold on the paper bag, the little white lie ready at the tip of his tongue. “We ran out of tofu, I’m just at the store to get some. Do you need anything?”

 _“No,”_ Jaehyun replies. _“I just thought you had another unexpected work call. I’ll just get started on lunch, then.”_

“Mm,” Doyoung hums. “I’ll be back in a couple.”

_“Drive safe. Love you.”_

“Love you, too.”

When the call ends, Doyoung wastes no time in dialling a number he’s memorised by heart. Because as much as Doyoung has been keeping this very secret from everyone, there _is_ one person who knew the reason why he’s had a medical appointment the past few weekends, and that is Lee Taeyong.

Having gone through what he had two years ago, he’d found himself finding comfort in Taeyong and his bright, admirable outlook despite his situation. Doyoung couldn’t have been happier that a beautiful companionship had emerged from something so terrible. In fact, Taeyong’s mate, Johnny, often teases about how inseparable they’ve become.

Xuxi will always be his best friend, but Doyoung has worries and insecurities that Xuxi would never be able to understand as a beta. Taeyong, an omega himself, has had years of experience when it came to dealing with his infertility.

One night, a year ago, Doyoung had had a breakdown of sorts.

He’d jolted awake from an intense dream about their loss, shaking and in tears. He’d quietly slipped out of Jaehyun’s hold and found himself calling Taeyong after the omega had sent him a text asking how he’s doing.

Doyoung had thought he was doing well, but the incident had been a timely reminder that it was something that he would have to carry around for the rest of his life. Of course, there were good days. But there were also days where everything seemed pointless.

No one but Taeyong knows about it. Not even Jaehyun. And Doyoung intends to keep it that way, because he knows he’s in a much better place than he was then. He wasn’t about to put his mate through any unnecessary stress, especially if it’s something that he’s slowly learning to live with.

When he’d shared the news of his decision with Taeyong a little over a month ago, the omega had voiced nothing less than his support.

“Taeyong,” he says, breathless with excitement when the call connects.

 _“So? What’s the verdict?”_ Taeyong answers without missing a beat, as if he’d been waiting on Doyoung’s call.

Doyoung nods, unable to hide a smile as he pressed the phone close to his ear. “I’ve cleared all the tests. I, um, got myself some pills so we could get started.”

There’s a pause before Taeyong speaks again. _“I’m so happy for you,”_ he says, and Doyoung can make out the smile in his tone and the slight tremble of emotion.

 _“What are you even doing, calling me first?_ ” Taeyong chides softly. _“You should be with your alpha. Will you let him know today?”_

The smile on Doyoung’s face dims, anxiety taking root in the thought of having to share the news with Jaehyun.

“I…” Doyoung’s mind takes him through the different ways it could go.

The last time any of them had brought the topic up in a conversation had been almost two years ago, when they were still struggling to pick up the pieces. Doyoung, in a desperate attempt to right his wrongs, had suggested that they gave it another shot. Jaehyun hadn’t been thrilled with the idea, and it had led to a string of nasty arguments they would both regret.

It wasn’t until recently Doyoung understood that Jaehyun had just been trying to protect him from another heartbreak. In retrospect, they hadn’t been ready then, and Doyoung might not have been keen on the idea of committing to something for the rest of his life, but everything they’ve been through have changed his perspective on a lot of things.

He’s ready, now. Yearns for it, even.

“I haven’t actually thought about how I’m going to do that,” he confesses.

 _“Whatever it is I’m sure Jaehyun would be happy,”_ Taeyong reassures him. His words manage to calm the turmoil in Doyoung’s heart, if only for a moment.

“I guess,” Doyoung hums.

_“I won’t keep you any longer. Let me know how it goes. Good luck, Doie!”_

++

The smell of spice welcomes him when he opens the front door.

Jaehyun is slaving over a pot of stew as he steps into the kitchen, and he makes a beeline for his alpha, arms snaking around from behind.

Jaehyun’s back shakes as he chuckles. Doyoung accepts the kiss to his cheek before burying his face into the soft cotton of his shirt.

“What’s with the affection?” Jaehyun wonders curiously, a small amused smile playing on his lips. Doyoung feels a tinge of guilt when he picks up on the slight uncertainty in the alpha’s tone. He’s not big on display of affection, and it shows in the way Jaehyun always startles when Doyoung initiates any form of skinship.

“I didn’t get the tofu,” Doyoung mumbles instead.

“That’s fine,” Jaehyun hums. “We’ll grab some on our next run to the grocer’s.”

Doyoung nods but has no intention of moving. Jaehyun lets him be, goes back to tending the pot. Jaehyun’s presence alone manages to lull Doyoung’s uneasiness until the raging thoughts in his mind turn into nothing but white noise. His heartbeat falls into a steady rhythm and he breathes in deeply, content.

Outside, dark clouds start to roll in quickly, the rumble of thunder accompanying a bright flash of lightning. Jaehyun laughs when Doyoung refuses to let go as he reaches over to shut the windows.

“Do you want me to feed you too, you big baby?” Jaehyun teases fondly as he turns off the stove and starts to prepare a meal for two.

 _Baby._ Doyoung grimaces. He finally relents, Jaehyun’s choice of words making his stomach churn a little. He accepts a bowl and quietly denies Jaehyun’s offer of a cup of _makgeolli_.

They’re halfway into their meal when Doyoung finally decides to break the comfortable silence.

“I lied about going to the store to get tofu.”

Jaehyun looks up from his phone where he’d been typing a reply to the picture of a dog Johnny had sent.

“Oh?” Jaehyun sets his phone down slowly, eyes regarding Doyoung seriously.

Doyoung’s gaze fall to his bowl once more but he doesn’t feel like finishing the last of his stew anymore.

“I figured,” Jaehyun speaks again, this time with a kind smile in an attempt to soothe his mate’s apparent inner turmoil. “You’re not one to forget so easily.”

It works. Doyoung’s lips pull into the tiniest of smiles as he meets Jaehyun’s eyes once more. It falls away as quickly as it had appeared, and Doyoung worries his bottom lip as he sets his spoon on the table.

“I’ve been going to the doctor’s,” Doyoung begins, dragging out each word with careful consideration. A frown is already blooming between Jaehyun’s brows.

“Are you okay?” Jaehyun wonders with barely concealed worry.

Doyoung manages a small, breathless laugh, though his grip on the bowl tightens. “More than okay, actually.”

Jaehyun’s posture relaxes, but his face is still set in a frown. “What is it, then?”

“The last time we properly spoke about it was almost two years ago,” Doyoung continues.

Jaehyun catches on quickly and his jaw falls slack with realisation.

“But I’ve thought about it, and I’ve decided that I’m ready to try again,” Doyoung feels himself flush under Jaehyun’s intense gaze.

After what feels like an eternity, Jaehyun finally speaks.

“Just to be clear,” he says slowly, “You’re saying that you want to start a family?”

Doyoung nods eagerly. He hadn’t known that hearing Jaehyun say those words would bring so much relief.

“I went for every test and I passed every single one of them. The doctor says everything looks good."

His doctor had also advised him to take things slow, and to be wary of his own emotions in case of a repeat of the last time, but Doyoung figures that it’s something he would keep to himself for now.

Doyoung scrambles to his feet, disappearing from the kitchen and reappearing a couple of seconds later with a brown, crumpled paper bag in his hands. “I picked up some vitamins. The doctor says it’s not necessary, but I read that it helps, and I just—wanted to do things right.”

Jaehyun’s silence is unnerving. Doyoung feels a little silly as he stands in the middle of the doorway, pills clutched to his chest as he allows the hope in his heart to grow while Jaehyun stares at him like he’d gone mad.

“How long have you been planning for this?” Jaehyun wonders quietly.

“…a couple of months,” Doyoung confesses. Jaehyun nods pensively, looking away to frown at the ground instead.

The silence stretches on, and with every passing second Doyoung feels himself deflate with the possibility that maybe this hadn’t been such a great idea after all. Maybe Jaehyun had changed his mind. About them, about _him_. What if Jaehyun had decided that a future with him might not be what he wants anymore?

The thought leaves a bitter taste in Doyoung’s mouth, and he swallows hard, struggling to hide his disappointment.

“I’m sorry if this isn’t what you want,” Doyoung says, hating how weak he sounds as the words leave his mouth. “I might have—maybe I was getting ahead of myself. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Jaehyun lips press into a tight line as he finally meets Doyoung’s gaze once more. “It’s not about that,” he says tersely. He breathes in sharply through his nose, looking like he’s battling some demons of his own.

“I just—” Jaehyun sighs. “You should have told me.”

“I’m telling you now,” Doyoung retorts petulantly.

Jaehyun rises to his feet, closing the distance between them. Doyoung has half a mind to be petty and pull away, but decides against it when Jaehyun reaches for his wrists. His insecurities crumble away as Jaehyun wordlessly sets the paper bag aside and presses a soft kiss to the inside of his wrist.

“I don’t want you to feel like you owe me,” Jaehyun admits in a pained whisper. “I want you to put yourself first.”

Doyoung blinks rapidly, overcome by a sudden wave of emotions.

“I am,” he insists. He gently tugs his hands out of Jaehyun’s hold and pulls his alpha into an embrace.

“I know you think I’m doing this for you, but it’s been two years, Jaehyun. What happened was awful,” Doyoung swallows hard, a lump forming in his throat as it always does when he thinks about it.

“But I guess it made me into an omega of sorts,” he jokes with a choked laugh. “Please trust me when I say I want this more than anything," he says seriously.

“I trust you, Doie,” Jaehyun murmurs before he falls silent again, but he doesn’t have to speak for Doyoung to know that his alpha needs some time to pull himself together.

He doesn’t say anything of the sorrow that fills the air, just holds him tightly like he’d never let go. 


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first obstacle comes in the form of some aggravating relatives at a wedding.

Jaehyun startles when he enters the bathroom to find Doyoung obsessively rearranging a dozen rectangular boxes in the cabinet. Doyoung barely fazes when he picks one up to inspect it with confusion.

“What are these?”

Doyoung pauses, turning to look at him sheepishly. “…pregnancy kits?”

“I know what they are,” Jaehyun says slowly, returning it to the counter to regard Doyoung with a deepening frown. “I meant, why do we have so many of these?”

“It’ll be good to have some on hand, you know, in case it happens and we need some kind of quick confirmation.”

“Don’t you think we’re getting ahead of ourselves?” Jaehyun questions carefully. “I mean, we haven’t even…” he trails off.

Doyoung huffs. “Well, it’s not my fault you won’t even touch me.”

Jaehyun flushes, squirming at Doyoung’s bluntness. Although Doyoung did have a point, in Jaehyun’s defense, it had been for good reasons. Of course they’d had sex in the two years since, but Jaehyun would be lying if he said they hadn’t both been cautious every time it happened.

Doyoung wouldn’t admit it, but Jaehyun could tell that he still struggled with intimacy at times. The last thing Jaehyun wanted was to push him into doing something he would be uncomfortable with.

“I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” Jaehyun says.

Doyoung’s expression softens, and there’s a tiny, amused smile playing on his lips. “You’re sweet,” he tells him. “And I don’t mean to rush you, but could you perhaps speed things up a little?”

This time Jaehyun laughs. “Doie, I’m _serious_.”

Doyoung cocks an eyebrow. “I am, too.” He sets the boxes onto the counter and reaches for Jaehyun’s hands.

“I told you, I’ve thought about this for _months_. I’ve had plenty time to mull things over, and I’m more than sure of what I want. You know me,” he reasons. “I wouldn’t have come to you without a plan.”

Jaehyun gives a small smile. “I should have known.”

Doyoung leans in to steal a kiss from his lips, pulling away with a fond smile. “Yes, you should have,” he quips.

Jaehyun takes a moment to regard Doyoung in his ratty old pajama tee, round glasses perched precariously on the lower bridge of his nose. Doyoung seemed like the same person he was before the incident, but often the mellowed look in his eyes reminds Jaehyun of what he’s been through – the storm they’ve weathered.

“I want to do this right,” Jaehyun says seriously.

“Me, too,” Doyoung reassures him, a gentle touch to his arm. The look of certainty in his eyes. It’s enough for now.

Doyoung makes a face when he realises that Jaehyun’s sweat from his morning run had transferred onto the front of his shirt.

“You’re gross,” he laments as Jaehyun laughs.

“I was going to take a shower,” Jaehyun complains, stepping aside to peel his shirt off himself, tossing it into the laundry basket in the corner. To his surprise, Doyoung does the same, stripping down till he’s naked.

“Since we’re both here, we might as well get started,” he says with a mischievous glint in his eyes before lunging forward to capture Jaehyun’s lips in a searing kiss.

++

Doyoung watches as his best friend stabs at his food, looking oddly sulky for a tall, oversized twenty-five-year-old.

He hadn’t meant to upset him, but he’d been so busy with getting everything sorted that it had taken him three weeks since Jaehyun and him had started trying before he finally found the time to let his best friend in on the secret.

Xuxi seemed excited when Doyoung first told him, but the happiness didn’t last long. Xuxi had avoided him for three whole days before Doyoung finally managed to grab a hold of him during his lunch at work.

“I can’t believe Taeyong knows before me,” Xuxi says, shoving a piece of fry angrily into his mouth.

Doyoung shoots him a sad, apologetic smile. “I didn’t want anyone to know, but I figured Taeyong would have more experience so I had no choice but to tell him, but only because I needed some advice.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Doyoung adds when Xuxi seemed like he didn’t seem entirely convinced.

“And I knew you’d blab to Jungwoo about it, and once Jungwoo knows, the whole world would know,” he jokes.

Doyoung smiles when his words successfully manage to pry a smile out of his best friend.

“My boyfriend _is_ the biggest tattletale,” Xuxi admits with a small chuckle.

“Glad you’re not too blinded by love to see it,” Doyoung says laughing. “I still can’t believe you’ve only been with him for a year but he’d already managed to ruin virtually almost every surprise we’ve tried to plan. He’s lucky he’s cute.”

“He is,” Xuxi agrees with a solemn nod. The conversation falls into a lull for a minute before Xuxi speaks up again, this time pensive.

“It’s a good thing I’m the one proposing.”

It takes Doyoung a few seconds to understand the implication of his words. “Shut the fuck up.”

Xuxi laughs behind a hand, the other reaching for something in his pocket. He reveals a sleek black box, and Doyoung picks it up in awe.

“Xuxi,” he breathes, blown away by how pretty the ring looks.

“I’m sorry for upstaging your news about wanting a baby. I didn’t intend to let anyone know yet but I thought you should, since you’re my best friend and all.”

“Ouch,” Doyoung winces.

“I’m kidding,” Xuxi shoots him a warm smile. Doyoung looks at him with a bittersweet feeling.

“I can’t believe you’re gonna get married before Jaehyun and I,” he says with a sniff, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye.

“I don’t know if he’ll say yes,” Xuxi reminds him.

“Jungwoo would be crazy to say no,” Doyoung says without missing a beat. “Besides, he loves you. I know it.”

Xuxi smiles, pleased.

“I’m sure Jaehyun is going to ask you to marry him sometime soon. He wouldn’t have said yes to having a freaking _baby_ with you if he had no intentions of making you legally his.”

Doyoung knows that his best friend is just trying to soothe him, but Xuxi’s words only manages to cast a dark cloud over his thoughts.

“You know it’s complicated,” Doyoung says, quiet. There was a very important reason why they haven’t taken that step in their relationship despite being together for years.

“Oh.” Xuxi pulls a face in realisation. “Sorry, Doie.”

He sighs, playing with the leftovers on his plate. “I’m trying to get in his good graces so he won’t complain about being my plus one for my cousin’s wedding next weekend.”

“I hate to say this, since I’m supposed to take your side as your best friend and all, but I feel sorry for Jaehyun.”

Doyoung scoffs. “I do, too.”

“I mean, your family is really something else.”

Doyoung sighs wistfully. “Tell me about it.” He scowls, “But so are his parents.”

Xuxi nods in sympathy. “Didn’t you say that he stands up to his parents when it comes to you? I would hold on to someone like that.”

Doyoung smiles a tiny smile. “I guess that’s why we’re still together after all this time.”

++

“You’re not exactly being subtle, you know.”

Doyoung ducks his head in embarrassment when Jaehyun catches his gaze in the mirror. He pretends to busy himself with packing his duffel bag even when he knows that Jaehyun had caught onto his nervousness.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Doyoung keeps up his pretence as he zips up his bag.

Jaehyun laughs in a scoff, finally turning to regard him with a wry smile.

“I know you’re just dying to say something. Just spit it out before we hit the road, or you could suffer through two hours of internal conflict. That’s entirely up to you.”

Doyoung huffs. “Fine. I was just wondering why you’re being so quiet.”

Jaehyun regards him with an incredulous look. “What’s wrong with that?”

Doyoung blinks at him, shakes his head. “Nothing. It’s just—you usually have these really long monologues when it involves my family but you haven’t said a single word about it.”

“We literally had an argument about it last week,” Jaehyun reminds him with a pointed look.

“That was hardly an argument,” Doyoung says as a matter-of-factly. Jaehyun tries to conceal his amusement at how it Doyoung hadn’t classified it as one.

To be fair, all he’d done was to whine for a bit and made a sarcastic remark about how he’ll try to avoid any attention from his family, to which Doyoung had countered about how he should at least make an effort to seem like he _wanted_ to be there. Of course Jaehyun had to make it clear to his mate that the last place he wanted to be was around his family, and Doyoung had sulked for a bit after that. The argument ended barely five minutes later when Jaehyun had conceded and apologised with a kiss.

“Okay, and?” Jaehyun prompts as they make their way towards the car.

“You’re telling me,” Doyoung says as he loads their bags into the back and slides into the passenger seat, “that we’re about to spend two whole days with my family, who you can’t stand, and you have absolutely _nothing_ to say about it?”

“You can’t stand my family, either, so I guess that makes us even,” Jaehyun laughs as he starts up the engine.

Doyoung makes an unintelligent sound but he knows he has nothing to say to that. Instead, he lets out a defeated sigh.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Doyoung says a little later when they’re on the freeway. “If anything happens, I will always be on your side.”

Jaehyun sneaks a glance at him, reaches out to hold his hand over the console. “I know,” he replies, earnest. “We’re a team, Doie.”

A _team_. Doyoung smiles to himself.

It turns out that going almost two years without meeting Doyoung’s family had given them ample of time to reload their guns, scathing words ready at the tip of their tongue the moment they walked through the doors.

“Oh,” Mrs. Kim says as soon as she spots her son and his alpha. “My son is still with you.”

“Yes,” Jaehyun replies, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. “Don’t get your hopes up if you think I’ll leave him someday. I think I have mentioned plenty of times that I _am_ going to marry him.”

“After what happened I can’t believe he would still want to.”

Jaehyun tries not to let her words get to him as he tails after Doyoung who had gone to greet his cousin. Kim Taeyeon is one of the only relatives of Doyoung that Jaehyun actually likes. She’s sweet and isn’t as condescending as the rest of them. The only rose amongst the thorns. She’s also the reason why Jaehyun had even considered attending the wedding.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Taeyeon grins, pulling both of them into a big hug.

“You look stunning,” Doyoung compliments, kissing her cheek. “I can’t believe you’re finally getting married!”

She laughs, slapping his arm playfully. “Save your corny speech for tomorrow when I finally _do_ get married.”

She turns to look at Jaehyun. “I’m really glad you came.” She leans in closer, voice dropping low, “I don't trust Doyoung here all alone with them.”

“I can stand up for myself,” Doyoung says with a roll of his eyes even as Jaehyun pulls him in by the waist.

Taeyeon mimics his action. “There’s no doubt about that, but I’m just saying that it’s always good to have some support. You know, after what happened.”

It’s not hard to pick up on the sadness in her tone. “Blood is supposed to be thicker than water, but that doesn’t mean that the Kims aren’t a bunch of vultures just waiting to prey on your weaknesses.”

Doyoung smiles wryly. “Sadly, that’s true.” He manages a brighter smile. “But let’s not talk about that on _the_ weekend of your life.”

Thankfully the evening passes without any major incident and before long Doyoung and Jaehyun are settled in their room. The drive and mingling had left them exhausted and Jaehyun hadn’t had to do much to convince Doyoung to turn in for the night instead of give into his request for a quick round of sex.

The ceremony goes by without a hitch, and in between hiding out in the courtyard and avoiding eye contact with any of Doyoung’s immediate relatives, Jaehyun finally makes it to the end of the day with colossal relief.

But Jaehyun should have known that a Kim family gathering couldn’t end without some drama. For the most part, Doyoung’s family treats him like he’s not there, which is the best scenario Jaehyun could possibly hope for.

Some time towards the end of the reception Jaehyun loses sight of Doyoung. It’s an intimidating couple of minutes as he traverses the hall in search for his mate. Instead of Doyoung, though, Jaehyun stumbles upon a couple of middle-aged betas he recognises as Doyoung’s aunts.

“I can’t believe that they spent all their lives trying to fix him, and he goes and meet an alpha like that Jaehyun boy, and suddenly they’re back at square one,” Jaehyun overhears one of them saying.

“I heard they lost the baby because his alpha encouraged his unruly behaviour.”

“Good riddance, don’t you think? It would have been terrible if they were tied together by a child.”

Her words make him seethe in anger, but he holds it in, knowing that it would do no good to lash out. Instead, he spends the rest of the time making alcohol his only friend. It’s several minutes later when he finally spots his mate. Doyoung’s gaze meets his from across the room and he bounds over to him with a smile gracing his face.

It falls as soon as he greets his alpha with a kiss to his cheek only to smell a hint of resentment in the air around him. Immediately he knows something is off.

“What happened?” he wonders as Jaehyun slips away, back turned towards him as he grabs another flute of champagne.

Jaehyun shrugs, contemplates for a moment if he should bring this up right now. But he figures that it’s something important. It couldn’t wait for another time.

“Your family thinks I’m the reason why you act out.”

Doyoung tries a smile to lighten the mood. “Aww, come on, Jae,” he consoles, latching onto his arm, “You’ve heard worse.”

Jaehyun shakes out of his hold, turning to glare at him. “I don’t think you understand the gravity of this.”

Doyoung startles. He’s never seen Jaehyun so angry. He looks livid as he stares at him with a hard gaze.

“They’ve said worse, yes, but it’s been seven years. _Seven._ And frankly I don’t give a shit if they’re going to behave this way for the rest of our lives. But we’re going to have a baby, Doie. A _family._ I don’t want to start something with you if they’re going to keep saying all that shit about us. They’re going to keep pitting you and I against each other.”

Doyoung doesn’t know what it is, but Jaehyun’s words hurt. “All I heard is that you don’t want to have a baby with me,” he says accusatorily.

“You’re twisting my words,” Jaehyun snaps.

“Am I? Like you said, you’ve never had a problem with it, but now that we’ve decided to have a baby, you’re using it as an excuse not to have one.”

Jaehyun stares at him with an incredulous look. “Are you even listening to me? It’s not about _having_ a baby!”

Doyoung shakes his head. “I’m not going to reason with you. Not when you’re being like this.”

“Like _what_?” Jaehyun cries in exasperation.

He doesn’t understand why there’s disappointment in Doyoung’s eyes when his reaction to what had happened was completely valid.

“Defensive,” Doyoung replies brusquely.

“You know what? I can’t talk to you right now. I don’t know what it is but you’re just not _listening_ to what I have to say. I can’t believe that barely a few hours ago you were saying that you’ll always take my side and now when I need you to, you’re being unreasonable.”

Doyoung watches in disbelief as Jaehyun storms out to the courtyard to have some time to himself. It could have been the alcohol, but Doyoung knows it’s just an excuse. There’s a reason why he rarely brought Jaehyun along to family gatherings. Some way or another they always ended up in an argument, and the last thing Doyoung needed was for them to have one now. Not when they had finally decided to take a huge step in their relationship.

When Jaehyun returns close to an hour later, the crowd has thinned out and his head is clearer. He spots Doyoung alone at one of the balconies, and he looks so miserable that Jaehyun doesn’t hesitate to march towards him.

Doyoung’s parents beats him to it, and Jaehyun pauses in the shadows of the doorway, unsure if it was a good idea to make his presence known to them.

“I saw you argue with him.” Mrs. Kim sneers, “Did he leave?”

“I don’t know,” Doyoung replies wearily.

Mrs Kim tuts disapprovingly, reaching up to cup his cheek. “I told you, Doyoung, honey. He made you lose the baby but he thinks it’s all your fault, and now he won’t even own up to it.”

“It wasn’t his fault,” Doyoung retorts angrily, shoving her away.

Mrs. Kim isn’t fazed. “Your father and I helped you regain some sense of normalcy with regards to your omega instinct, but when you started dating him, he just let you run wild. Honey, that’s not what an alpha is supposed to do. He let you have your way, and now look what happened.” She shakes her head disparagingly.

“You lost a baby.”

Jaehyun feels sick. He sees Doyoung’s expression falter but the words that comes out of his mouth is sure and steady.

“It wasn’t his fault,” he repeats slowly. “I didn’t want it in the first place. He helped me through it, and he wanted it more than anything, but then I—I took that away from him. Don’t you see?” he says, exhausted. “ _I_ lost the baby.”

She huffs in annoyance and walks away, her husband trailing after her. Jaehyun’s heart breaks when Doyoung is left alone to deal with the mess his mother had unravelled. 

Later, when they’re back in the room, Doyoung is awfully quiet as they pack their bags. Doyoung’s sadness is suffocating even as he pretends that everything’s fine. Jaehyun’s had enough when he accidentally catches Doyoung’s eyes shining bright with unshed tears.

“Doyoung,” he calls softly, watching the way Doyoung’s back tenses as he pauses. “Talk to me.”

He continues to fold the rest of his clothes, refusing to turn around.

“I’m sorry for whatever happened between us earlier,” he says evasively. He sounds so defeated, unlike his usual demeanour. “I was being dramatic and I jumped to my own conclusions.”

“I overheard your argument with your parents.”

Doyoung looks like a deer caught in headlights when he finally meets Jaehyun’s eyes.

“It was nothing,” he denies, quickly brushing it off.

“It wasn’t nothing,” Jaehyun insists firmly.

“You know how they are. I didn’t want them to get the wrong idea.”

He’s quiet as he continues to shuffle around the room, slowly packing his things.

“It was my fault, anyway,” he says, voice barely above a whisper this time. “I couldn’t have them think that you had anything to do with it.”

Jaehyun holds back a curse but can’t help the way his anger and sadness radiate off him. “Haven’t we talked about this? It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t _anyone’s_. It just _happened._ There was nothing we could have done.”

Doyoung pauses where he’s trying to force his bag close. “My parents will never understand,” he finally says, voice breaking.

Jaehyun reaches out for him then, pulls him into his embrace. It’s all it takes for Doyoung to burst into tears.

“Shh,” Jaehyun hushes, lets him soak the front of his shirt. “It’s okay,” he tells him. Because it is, and he can’t believe that Doyoung’s mother had made him believe that it wasn’t.

“I know it is, and I _know_ it’s not my fault, but sometimes it’s hard to see that it isn’t,” Doyoung cries. “And when I go down that rabbit hole nothing makes any sense.”

“This is why we’re supposed to talk it out,” Jaehyun assures him softly, gently stroking his back. “Besides, your mother was an asshole for those things she said to you.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Doyoung hiccups, laughing weakly. It takes a few more minutes of coddling and several warm kisses to his forehead before Doyoung can finally breathe again.

“Ugh,” he says, “I don’t know how I’m going to be a good parent if all I do is cry at the smallest bump in the road.”

Jaehyun’s lips pull into a smile. “Now you’re just being silly.”

“I can’t help it,” Doyoung sniffs. He lets out a long sigh. “I’m exhausted.”

“I can only imagine why,” Jaehyun jokes. “Your family is really something.”

Doyoung laughs wetly. “That’s what Xuxi says, too.”

He feels Jaehyun smile against his hair, glad for the light change of subject. “Did you tell him?”

Doyoung nods. “He says he’s happy for us,” he murmurs, pausing. “But then he tried to do me one better and told me he was going to propose to Jungwoo.”

“Son of a bitch,” Jaehyun laughs. He pulls away to look at him seriously. “You know,” he begins, “I told your mother I was going to marry you.”

Doyoung freezes in surprise. Although they’ve been together for years, they’ve never really talked about marriage.

Doyoung figured it was because they were still young then, but now that they were looking to start a family together, it seemed inevitable that it came up.

“There’s a lot we need to work through, and there’s no pressure, but I just want you to know that eventually I do plan to make you mine.”

Jaehyun holds one of his hands in his, runs his thumb gently across his skin. 

"I'll get you the prettiest ring, just you wait and see."

Doyoung can't help the smile that blooms across his face as he imagines a forever with Jaehyun.

++


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doyoung is losing his patience, but Jaehyun thinks that a romantic trip might just be what he needs.

Things don’t always go according to plan, Doyoung finds out three months later as he sits on the closed lid of the toilet, staring at what was the third negative test result.

Disappointment claws at his throat and he struggles to stop himself from shaking out of frustration, but it’s hard to keep positive when all he can think about is his failures.

In that moment, Doyoung can’t fathom the reasons as to why things haven’t progressed. He’d done everything he thought he could, but maybe it hadn’t been enough. Things _had_ been going well.

And this morning… he’d been so _sure_. He hadn’t felt this exhausted in forever, and his stomach had been churning uncomfortably for days, much like that first time two years ago.

Before his thoughts can grow a head of its own, Doyoung hears the front door open and he freezes for a second, contemplating his next move.

“Doie?”

He hears Jaehyun shuffling on the other side of the door. A split-second decision sees him scrambling to his feet, burying any evidence of what he’d been up to.

Doyoung wets his hands under running water and flushes the toilet once for good measure before emerging from the bathroom, pretending his heart isn’t racing at a hundred miles per hour.

“Are you okay?” Jaehyun wonders as they meet eyes across the room.

“Yeah,” Doyoung nods hastily. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jaehyun’s frown doesn’t go unnoticed. “You’ve been in there since I left almost an hour ago.”

Doyoung laughs nervously. “My stomach’s being weird.”

“Was it something you ate?” Jaehyun muses. “Didn’t you have a milkshake yesterday?” he questions, attempting to troubleshoot.

Doyoung nods in acknowledgement, suddenly feeling like an idiot. That could have been it. He’d gone way past his dairy limit the past few days. And yet here he was, thinking it could have been something more. He can’t believe he thought that there was the start of something growing inside him when it was really just his intolerance for lactose.

His face crumples at the realisation, which doesn’t go unnoticed by his mate.

“Oh, Doie,” Jaehyun breathes when he finally connects the dots. Jaehyun’s in front of him in a few long strides.

“Did you…?”

Doyoung doesn’t say anything, but his silence is enough of an answer. The air is stifling as he struggles to deal with his growing embarrassment.

“Um, can we just—” Doyoung waves his hand dismissively, stepping aside to leave, but Jaehyun reaches for his waist to stop him.

“No,” he says firmly. “We should talk about this. I don’t want you to spiral.”

Doyoung’s indignation flares. “I’m not—I’m _fine_ ,” comes his denial as Jaehyun had expected.

Jaehyun regards him with raised brows. “I didn’t say you weren’t.”

His expression softens. “Look, I just want you to come to me when you’ve got the slightest doubt in your heart. Any time you feel like things are beginning to steer out of your control, you come find me.”

Although it’s been seven years, Doyoung did need reminding every once in a while. He’s stubborn and hard headed, also fiercely independent, and sometimes Jaehyun wishes that Doyoung would lean on him a little more. He thinks Jaehyun doesn’t notice that he often gets caught between wanting to be his own person in a society where omegas are inferior, and succumbing to his innate desires.

“My love,” Jaehyun murmurs, kisses his hand. “You can tell me anything.”

Doyoung’s resolve crumbles at his touch, and the words flood from his heart in an instant.

“I thought I might be,” Doyoung begins, feeling his emotions build in his chest, “Pregnant, I mean. So I took a few tests, and they were all negative. And I just—I don’t know,” Doyoung says, voice wavering. “I felt so sure about it. I mean, it’s about time, don’t you think so?”

Jaehyun listens patiently, thumb rubbing gentle circles into his skin.

“We’ve done _everything_ right. I gave up anything that could sabotage our chances. Where did I go wrong?” Doyoung rants, voice growing loud with exasperation. His eyes are bright with frustration, but Jaehyun knows it’s only because he feels like he has no control over everything that has happened.

“I’ve had proper meals, I haven’t missed any of my supplements. I’ve tried not to let anything get to me in case it stresses me out, but—” his breath catches in his throat.

Jaehyun suddenly grabs his wrists, pulls him closer. “Doie,” he calls, almost commandingly. “Breathe.”

Doyoung does as he’s told, with Jaehyun’s encouragement, taking in a deep breath and letting it out in ten slow seconds.

“I know you’re upset now,” Jaehyun begins. His tone is soft but firm, his pheromones calming. He had always been the more level-headed between the both of them.

“But I need you to know that it isn’t the end of the world. It’s only been three months. It’s perfectly normal for these kinds of things to take some time. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you, yeah?”

Doyoung nods wearily, his mate’s words finally making some sense.

“Right,” Jaehyun exhales. His back straightens, leaning away to give Doyoung some space but still close enough to focus his attention on his mate. “How do you feel now? Walk me through your thoughts.”

Doyoung hesitates, but realises it’s unfair of him to shut Jaehyun out when he’s been nothing but sweet and patient with him.

“I feel useless,” he admits in a small voice. “I feel like this is karma for my lashing out the first time.”

“You’re allowed to change your mind,” Jaehyun tells him quietly. “This isn’t karma or any of that bullshit you’re telling yourself. It can take a month or it can take years. Nothing is certain, but that doesn’t mean anything’s wrong.”

“What if it never happens?” Doyoung muses fearfully.

Sometimes when he’s alone he has such thoughts, thoughts he knows could become all-consuming if he let them. But Jaehyun’s gentle touches, his warm gaze, always reels him in – keeps him tethered to reality.

“I can’t promise you that it will,” Jaehyun admits. “But if we keep wondering about what’s going to happen in the future we’re going to miss out in the present.”

He tugs Doyoung closer again, leaving a kiss to his jaw. “I’m happy now, here, with you. If it happens, I’ll be happy. If it doesn’t, my feelings for you won’t change. That’s something I can promise you.”

Doyoung nods carefully. “You’re so sweet,” he sniffs, reaching to cup Jaehyun’s cheeks in his hands. He leans in, capturing his lips in a soft kiss.

When they pull away, Jaehyun has a certain look in his eyes.

“We’ll take things as they come, one step at a time,” he says, finger lifting Doyoung’s chin up to meet his gaze, “If you’re really concerned, which I’m sure you have no reason to be, we can make an appointment with the doctor for next week, and then we’ll sort this out again. Figure out how we’ll go from there.”

“One step at a time,” Doyoung repeats, nodding his head in agreement. He feels like that’s at least something he could do for now.

++

Turns out, Doyoung didn’t have anything to worry about.

Their doctor had listened in sympathy and understanding as Doyoung conveyed his troubles, but had reassured them that it was perfectly normal for things to move at a glacial pace, especially after what they’d been through. Apart from advice not to rush things along, they were sent home with a refill of supplements, and an off-the-record tip for Jaehyun to take his mate out for a nice, relaxing vacation to get his mind of things.

So when Johnny had sent a text asking if they were up for a getaway to Jeju over the weekend, Jaehyun knew it couldn’t have come at a better timing.

“I don’t know,” Doyoung purses his lips, glancing at his laptop that sat on the desk in the corner of the room. “I’ve taken too many days off from work when I had those weekly appointments a few months back. My boss wouldn’t be too happy that his employee isn’t taking his job seriously.”

Jaehyun follows his line of sight and sighs. “You work too much.”

“I’m the only omega in my department,” Doyoung reminds him. “Anything those betas and alphas do, I have to do it a hundred times _better_.”

Jaehyun gets up to massage his shoulders. “I know, and I’m still very much in awe with the person that you are. My wonderful, idiosyncratic omega,” Jaehyun smiles fondly. “But you know that they can’t afford to lose you. Who cares if they can’t manage the office when you’re away? Besides, it’s only for _one_ day.”

“Our monthly appraisal is coming up in a week,” Doyoung reasons, though Jaehyun does have a point. Those idiot colleagues of his couldn’t do their job properly without him around.

“Just imagine,” Jaehyun wraps his arms around Doyoung’s shoulders. “Sunset by the beach. A relaxing day at the spa. A glass of red wine over some candlelight dinner.” Jaehyun noses the side of his neck, presses a hot kiss where his pulse is.

“I’ll make love to you against the windows overlooking the sea.” Jaehyun trails up until he’s nibbling the shell of his ear. “Who knows? Maybe if we’re lucky I will end up putting a baby in you.”

Doyoung groans, closing his eyes at the image. “That’s unfair,” he says petulantly. “I can’t believe you’re playing the baby card.”

Jaehyun chuckles, pulling away as Doyoung looks up to where he’s leaning over the back of the couch. His dimples dig deep as he grins down at him.

“Does that mean you’re coming along, then?”

Doyoung grumbles. “I can’t say no when you’re so willing to knock me up.”

Jaehyun laughs again and pecks his cheek. “I’ll let Johnny know, then.”

He walks away, typing at his phone. Minutes later Doyoung’s own phone beeps with an incoming message from his best friend, and he can’t help but to chuckle when he realises that everyone else seemed excited for the trip.

**Xuxi**

**21:13**

couldn’t say no to the dimples, could u?

you’re so predictable

whatever it is i’m so excited for the weekend!!

As the weekend nears, Doyoung’s excitement builds dramatically at the idea of having a good time with some of his best friends, and spending an entire weekend romancing with Jaehyun.

“Johnny’s really outdone himself this time,” Doyoung says gleefully as they drag their suitcases into one of the most lavish hotel rooms he’s ever had the pleasure of staying at.

“Hey, I’m the one who did the research,” Jaehyun says sulkily as he stalks towards the curtains. Doyoung laughs, bounding over to his mate and slinging an arm around his neck in an affectionate grip.

“Didn't he pay for everyone’s trip?”

“Must be nice to be rich,” Jaehyun grumbles, though his tone held no malice.

Even with all his wealth and status, Johnny’s one of the kindest person with the biggest heart. Oftentimes in life one can’t have it all. Johnny’s life with Taeyong sounds like something out of a fairy tale, but Jaehyun and Doyoung know of the struggles they’ve faced.

Jaehyun draws the curtains to reveal the most breath-taking view of the calm, blue ocean and Doyoung sighs dreamily, resting his head onto his mate’s shoulder.

“And our perfect getaway starts now,” Jaehyun murmurs, turning to meet Doyoung’s lips in a slow kiss. Doyoung breaks away for a moment to glance at the time, his face breaking out into a cheeky smile.

“We’ve got an hour before we’re due to reconvene for dinner,” Doyoung tugs at Jaehyun’s arm, leading him towards the bed. Jaehyun goes easily, like he always does when it comes to Doyoung.

Doyoung pushes him onto the bed and slowly climbs atop him. “Let’s see how fast you can give it to me.”

++

“I know you said you were going to try for a baby, but you guys are real nasty for what you just did,” Xuxi laments as Doyoung slides into the seat beside his, wincing as he does so.

From the look on his best friend’s face, he’s sure that his friends had noticed his not-so-subtle limping, courtesy of his mate who might have been a little too enthusiastic.

Doyoung flushes but retorts indignantly, “Would you rather that we’d done it during dinner?”

Xuxi pulls a face. “You couldn’t have waited until _later_?”

Despite his annoyance, he gestures towards Doyoung’s collarbone to bring it to his attention.

This time Doyoung catches Jaehyun’s ears turning red as he hastily pulls at the neck of his sweater to hide the blooming hickey Jaehyun had left during their earlier session. Fortunately, Johnny and Taeyong are too busy exchanging sweet nothings to give them any attention, and Jungwoo is too kind not to pretend he knows what’s going on.

“Don’t act like a saint,” Doyoung quips. “You’re most likely to be the one sneaking away with your fiancé at any given chance.” Doyoung glances at Jungwoo. “No offense, by the way.”

“None taken,” Jungwoo chirps. “Though I do have to make it clear that it’ll just be to fulfil any sexual desire rather than to conceive.”

Jaehyun chokes on his water, but Doyoung can’t help but to laugh along with everyone else at the table, feeling himself relax.

Dinner is a pleasant event, and Doyoung finds himself actually forgetting about his troubles and having a good time. At some point he catches Jaehyun looking at him, and they share a small, knowing smile.

 _Thank you_ , Doyoung’s eyes say. For always knowing exactly what he needs. He’s thankful that Jaehyun has been so understanding with everything. He’s glad that in the two years since, he’s managed to surround himself with a pretty darn good support system.

After dinner, they part ways at the boardwalk. Doyoung slips his hand into Jaehyun’s and they walk in silence for a bit, embracing the natural ease that comes between them.

It’s a chilly night, and Doyoung catches Jaehyun huddling into his measly bomber jacket.

“Will you ever accept the fact that that jacket will never keep you warm?” Doyoung chastises, moving to undo the scarf around his neck.

“Keep it on,” Jaehyun argues, pushing it away. “I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

Doyoung cocks an eyebrow. “You’re the one who’s always falling sick.”

“Yeah, but when you do you always have it worse, and I don’t want you falling sick. Especially not now.” Jaehyun says it with such finality that Doyoung is reminded that he’s not the only stubborn one in this relationship.

“Jaehyun,” Doyoung sighs. “Let me take care of you for once.”

“I’m your alpha, I’m supposed to—”

“Not with that alpha bullshit,” Doyoung interjects warningly.

Jaehyun’s face falls.

“I’m sorry,” he says sincerely, reminded that it’s a bit of a touchy subject. He looks apologetic as he reaches out for Doyoung again.

“It’s nothing to do with my alpha instincts,” he adds in reassurance.

Because as much as his alpha is always looking for ways to exert its dominance over his omega, Jaehyun often has to reason with himself that Doyoung _isn’t_ like the other omegas. Any manual out there on how to care for your omega is pointless when it comes to Doyoung.

“I know,” Doyoung acknowledges softly. “I don’t say this much, but I appreciate you always looking out for me.” He chuckles, “Even if it does get infuriating at times.”

“But I love you for that,” Doyoung squeezes his hand.

Jaehyun gives him a warm smile. “And I love you for trying your best to let me, even when I know how much it kills you to let anyone help you.”

Doyoung shoves him playfully, but says nothing in rebuttal because he knows that what Jaehyun says is true.

Jaehyun, bless his soul, quietly accepts the scarf despite his reluctance, and Doyoung’s heart warms, knowing without a doubt that this man would go to the ends of the earth for him.

++

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, I can't believe how much love this fic has already gotten in just two chapters. Everyone is so encouraging in the comments <3 Trust me when I say that it's given me so much motivation to continue writing this piece. I'm already chapters ahead with the plot and i'm so excited to share it with everyone.
> 
> On a side note, something else -- something big, I would say-- was going to happen in this chapter but it got a bit lengthy so I decided to just split it into two chapters instead. I guess you can look forward to what happens with the plot soon? 
> 
> Hint: Johnyong are going to be a main side pairing :-)


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